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Updated: Feb 2, 2020

I don’t know what I’m going to write here. Lately everything…everything except doing absolutely nothing…feels hard. Really hard. Part of this is because I have been overwhelmed, and I see no end to the tasks in front of me. I feel like I will always be drowning in too many things to do…too many responsibilities. Logically, I know this isn’t true. It can’t be. Life changes. Things always change. But in this current season, I can’t see how it will change or when.

And it’s stealing my joy. The things I should love doing all feel like chores. Daily life is a slog of forcing myself from one task to the next. There are things I’m excited about, but I can only muster it for completion of something, and most of the things on my to-do don’t have an end date in sight. So, I’m stuck in a rut, putting one foot in front of the other, unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I may as well have a blindfold on for how well I can see where I’m going or why.

What am I doing here? 

Am I planting? Sowing? I’m sure not reaping. I guess we all have seasons like this, and I have a little bit of guilt because there’s not even anything terrible happening in my life. It’s just a lot of stuff.

Lord, help me be as happy with the plowing, seeding, weeding season as I ever am at harvest!

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